Happy Thoughts

Just thought I'd post a quick update here. I finally got my ass to the gym today after a week of inactivity. Cos of my shift work which starts at 330am, I couldn't get used to it and constantly felt so tired I could not bring myself to visit the gym.

But that is all just excuses and I know it myself. If I want something badly, I would do anything to achieve it. I was reading this blog earlier and the guy said: "You're in control of yourself, so if you don't achieve your goals, don't blame anyone else. Fucking blame yourself and all your excuses. You have no one else to blame but yourself."

SO.DAMN.RIGHT.

Hate to admit it but there is nothing about that statement I can go against. My goals are set by myself, and if I don't reach it I have only myself to blame and no one else.

I told myself I had to do it today. I got to start so that that inertia will be gone. And otw to the gym it was really painful. Like you have no idea how big that inertia was. I was 90% gonna give up and just go home to sleep. But I kept thinking about my goals. How much better I would feel after a workout, even if it is a short one.

And I am so freaking glad I went, even tho it was just a short sesh. I felt so happy and healthy and energetic the moment I started gymming. I always forget how happy I feel to be in the gym, or just exercising. I forgot how much I loved this lifestyle of mine, pushing hard everyday and feeling good about myself.

Although my diet wasn't good today, little steps at a time. You can be sure I'm going to the gym again tomorrow, and it's a new day, new start, and I'm gonna tackle that diet weakness of mine again.

• Remember those people that are waiting for you to prove them wrong•

128 days, bring it on jas.

Dreams Vs Realities

             

You dream of the perfect guy, but you end up with a reality of choosing someone less than perfect.
You dream of the ideal body, but you end up with a reality of a less than perfect shape.
You dream of good grades, but you end up with a reality of mediocre results.
You dream of the best job, but you end up with a reality of choosing stability over passion.

It sucks.

As a person who over-thinks into every single thing, you can expect how these thoughts bother me everyday. The "What ifs" of life, the constant thinking of why things don't go the way I want/expect them to.

Well, the fact about this is that there will never be an end to this constant expectation of life. The definition of Dream, is "an aspiration". Dreams are a manifestation of what we imagine our lives to be, dreams are what we hope can become a reality, but more importantly, dreams exists so that we have a goal in life to work towards to.

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You dream of the perfect guy, with a set of almost impossible criteria to meet. But you end up loving a guy who is just average looking, and may or may not have met your list of initial expectations. It is perfectly normal to dream and want the best for yourself, but why do most people eventually settle for less than expected? This guy may not be the most handsome guy around, but he cares deeply for you. This guy may not be the most humorous guy around, but he is able to make you laugh and smile everyday. This guy may not be the smartest guy around, but he shares the same frequency of thoughts with you and you are able to click with him. Your criteria of the perfect guy starts to change, but it is not because you have decided to settle for less, he simply becomes the dream guy that you have always wanted. The same idea goes for girls. The learning point that I gained about relationships, is to never ever change yourself for someone else. The guy, or girl that you want to spend the rest of your life with should, and has to love you for who you are.

Someone once told me that I was being over-friendly and guys may get the wrong idea. Heck, that has always been my personality and I will never change myself just because of what others think of me. As long as I know my conscience is clear, and no one gets hurt in the process (unless it is something bad and worth changing), I cannot help it if you choose to judge me and think of me in a negative way. That only goes to show that this friendship/relationship is not worth keeping because we cannot reach a common level of understanding. I will continue to stay true to my personality because I know one day, there will be someone out there who understands, appreciates me and loves me for who I am.

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Not happy with how you look and always dreaming of getting that toned body? Then you have set a goal for yourself. Exercise more and eat healthily, and you are one step closer to your dream body.
Most of my friends around me know I have been battling a long history of eating disorders. From anorexia to binge eating, my weight has fluctuated non-stop over the years. I admit I do get deeply affected by unkind comments like: "Wah, you put on a lot of weight hor?" or "Why you never maintain your weight? Last time look so much better." There were countless nights where I spent crying, feeling sad and asking why does it have to happen to me. However over the years I start to realize that I cannot stop people from saying what they want. They do not even know that you are facing such a problem. Are their words going to change anything? Are you going to give up on life and wallow in self pity because you cannot accept criticisms? Nope, never for me. In fact, these comments gives me the extra motivation to push towards my goals. Everyday I am still fighting and pushing hard for what I want, because I know that nothing is impossible as long as you work hard and put your heart into it.

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Feeling upset with your results in school and always dreaming of getting good grades like your peers? Then you have a goal to work towards to. Find out what is wrong with your studying methods, learn from better people around you, clarify your mistakes, put in double the effort as compared to your classmates. I did not get into university the first time I applied because my results were not good enough. It was one of the darkest moments in my life. All this while, my education life was smooth sailing. I moved from primary to secondary school to junior college... and naturally I always expected to continue on to university together with my friends. I took it very hard on myself initially, feeling embarrassed that I was the only stupid person amongst my friends, angry that I worked as hard as my peers yet it all came to naught. I was honestly so lost at that point in time, because this situation that occurred was never in the grand master plan of my life. I'm glad I have the most supportive family and friends who pulled me out of this black hole that I was sinking into. They taught me that there will always be setbacks, and life will never, ever go the way you plan. But the most important thing is to never give up. The hard work that you put in will eventually pay off. I decided to face my failures bravely, and continue to work hard towards my dream of getting into one of the top 3 universities in Singapore. Eventually I did achieve my goal, and now I have successfully graduated from NUS. In retrospect, this obstacle was actually a blessing in disguise for me. I may have taken the longer route as compared to my same batch peers, but I have gained numerous life lessons and new friends that I wouldn't trade the world for.

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You dream of getting the job that you are so passionate about, but you are faced with the dilemma that it does not pay as well as compared to a job that you have less interest in. Would you rather choose the latter job and feel so sick of reporting to work everyday, or would you choose the former, enjoy the work process and slowly work your way up the career ladder? If you choose to follow your passion, you are one step closer to your dream. If you choose the job that may pay you better, you sacrifice emotional happiness for material happiness. I guess both ways of thinking aren't wrong. When you choose your passion, you gain immediate joy but you may struggle in the long run because life may become unsustainable . When you choose to accept the higher paying job, you gain stability in life but work becomes meaningless and less enjoyable. So what choice will you make?


I am one of those who will say, "Money is not important! I rather do something I like rather than feel miserable everyday." Some of you may laugh at my naïve way of thinking. Well maybe it is. But I guess for now, when I am still young, free and not tied down by having to support a family, learning and chasing my dreams matters more to me than money. Who knows, in a couple of years, I may not be able to confidently say that this is the route I want to take. Maybe when I start to feel that I am responsible for someone else's life, I will decide that stability precedes passion. Ultimately, no one can and should influence your decision. It is your life, and your choice to make, and whichever path you choose, you have to be prepared to deal with the final consequences.

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The only thing that stands between your dreams and reality is you yourself.

Dreams exist to give you a meaning in life. It's hard to imagine seeing your dreams become reality, but I have seen some of mine come true. And these are sufficient enough to keep me pressing on to make the rest of my dreams become reality. As long as you do not lose sight of your end goal, anything is possible. Your dreams can become your reality too if you start believing in yourself. :)


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