My life has been pretty awesome so far I must say, work has been going well, colleagues are nice to me and compliments have been coming. It is nice to hear such stuff, I mean who doesn't like to hear all these right hahah! Time is really passing so fast that I can't believe I am already into my 5th month of internship. I think in every blog post I seem to always comment about how fast time is flying by. And so yes, it is indeed going past so quickly, that I am going to start school again next semester. After 1 year of not studying, suddenly I feel so lazy and sian to go back. I mean, I really do love school, cos of my friends and lessons are genuinely interesting, I just hate the exams and assignments. I hate the fact that we have to take exams to judge our calibre. I hate that everyone, including me is stuck in this rat race, studying so hard just to get that paper qualification, even if the things we are studying are irrelevant to the future working life. I hate that 1 paper determines our worth, our fate.
I hate that I am so fickle minded. I am stuck in this dilemma once again, thinking if I should follow the crowd and get a honours degree, just so that I can have that paper, just so that I can match up to everyone else's standards. Deep down inside me I know that studying 1 extra year will not help me gain much knowledge related to real life work, but yet im caught between having to do it because it may be an important factor in helping me to secure a job. I honestly do not care about the fact that people with an honours degree are gonna get a higher pay than me, I am not that career minded. As long as I can have enough to support myself, and most importantly do what I like to do, that is all that matters.
But I cannot get past myself. I cannot get past the fact that I may be going another path different from all my friends who are doing honours. Thinking to myself will I regret it if I do not do it in future, thinking if I will lose out in future if I do not have that degree, thinking if I am lousier than everyone else if i do not do it, all these are causing me to feel so unsure of what I should do. The fact that not doing it MAY cause me to lose out on a job that I want to do just because another person has that extra paper...I am seriously so confused.
Yet the thought of having to stay 1/2 year longer than all of my friends if I were to take honours, thinking about the fact that I will be 25 by the time I graduate if I take honours seriously makes me feel so bothered. I know time shouldn't be a factor, I know friends shouldn't be a factor because this is MY life, I have to make the decisions for myself, but hey I am just a human as well, and I cannot stop all these different emotions from coming.
I just hope that I can figure out a clear answer for myself soon, and hope that that is something that I will not regret in future.
I hate that I am so fickle minded. I am stuck in this dilemma once again, thinking if I should follow the crowd and get a honours degree, just so that I can have that paper, just so that I can match up to everyone else's standards. Deep down inside me I know that studying 1 extra year will not help me gain much knowledge related to real life work, but yet im caught between having to do it because it may be an important factor in helping me to secure a job. I honestly do not care about the fact that people with an honours degree are gonna get a higher pay than me, I am not that career minded. As long as I can have enough to support myself, and most importantly do what I like to do, that is all that matters.
But I cannot get past myself. I cannot get past the fact that I may be going another path different from all my friends who are doing honours. Thinking to myself will I regret it if I do not do it in future, thinking if I will lose out in future if I do not have that degree, thinking if I am lousier than everyone else if i do not do it, all these are causing me to feel so unsure of what I should do. The fact that not doing it MAY cause me to lose out on a job that I want to do just because another person has that extra paper...I am seriously so confused.
Yet the thought of having to stay 1/2 year longer than all of my friends if I were to take honours, thinking about the fact that I will be 25 by the time I graduate if I take honours seriously makes me feel so bothered. I know time shouldn't be a factor, I know friends shouldn't be a factor because this is MY life, I have to make the decisions for myself, but hey I am just a human as well, and I cannot stop all these different emotions from coming.
I just hope that I can figure out a clear answer for myself soon, and hope that that is something that I will not regret in future.
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